BAH GAWD, THE WWE WRESTLING ICE CREAM BARS ARE BACK!!!
Finally, the greatest ice cream ever created on God's green Earth HAS COME BACK TO GOD'S GREEN EARTH!!! A few years ago, I wrote a very in depth blog about the best treats you could get from an ice cream truck.
You know which ice cream squeaked by the Choco Taco to become the CHAMPION OF THE WORRRRRRLD? That's right, the WWF Ice Cream Bar.
The WWF Ice Cream bars were sooooo fucking good and sooooo fucking awesome just because they had the wrestlers on the pops back in the 90s. How did they have the technology for that back then? The precision of those graphics printed on a soft cookie is is the clearest proof for me that aliens exist and their technology is used in today’s society. And lets not forgot that you got a free wrestling card with every bar. I’m pretty sure if you pull out one of those cards at any given moment, you instantly get laid. Actually that may not be true, but it should be.
I know that these new bars don't have the stick, the chocolate backing, or the trading card of the OG that every 90s kid fell in love with. If you aren't used to the reboot of a nostalgic favorite coming up short in key spots, you haven't watched many movies or old wrestling gimmicks come back over the last decade or so. Once that stick got the axe from the design department, the chocolate's ass was in the jackpot because nobody wants to have chocolate and ice cream melt on their hand. The card was a nice touch as well. But I imagine most kids look at a piece of cardboard that can be "traded" like they look at a VHS tape.
That being said, I still have to give Good Humor credit for bringing back that perfectly soft cookie, the laser photo technology that still blows my mind in the year 2020, and having a sandwich for this absolute legend despite him passing away years ago.
Speaking of absolute legends, I would be a selfish prick to the highest order without tipping my cap to CM Punk for putting the wheels in motion on a potential WWE Ice Cream comeback with his legendary contract demands years ago
As for where to find these gems, I don't see any stores that sell them on the Good Humor website within 100 miles from my house in Winterfell. So I guess I'll have to settle for the definitely not shady ice cream man that drives through my neighborhood at what we can call more than a brisk pace for an ice cream man whose entire livelihood is about being able to be tracked down by out of breath fat kids.
h/t Vin